throw back thursday - day 115 (project 365)

As much as I would love to make some beautiful images tonight or shoot something happening around me , I am not.    I have decided to look through my images and post something that I had done before. I thought it might be a great idea to post some images just so I can remember where I was, how I felt , were I want to be, hence throw back Thursdays.
  

As much as I am thinking about how much I want to do and move forward , I am reminded of how far I have come.  I have been documenting my life for so long but it really started in 2007 and has truly been a journey of self discovery.   Some not so happy, some joyous, getting to know me , wanting to lose me or things in my life and gaining others.   These are a few photos after I had cut my locks off  around 2009  it was from a series La Gata Negra....the black cat who wanders at night in the shadows  of the darkness -masked- no one really knows her  and wanting to release all that darkness and pain, sorrow by removing it.  Amazing how documenting emotion( although maybe not so much flowers and sunshine), has a beauty of its own, because it is real and true, evoking emotion.  

 I have been told more than once that  in my joy  I still have some kind of sadness lingering deep inside my soul .   So what is that when I work so hard to stay positive and out of those depths of darkness?  A past life's sadness, ancestral pain,karmic or just really not letting go of things that hurt .  Maybe a little bit of it all.   I still strive for that  inner peace, positivity , "nirvana"  on this journey because it is ," my journey"  and  I believe and ultimately need to  believe in myself. 



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